Australia + all the things that matter more

Stephen and I arrived in Sydney early Sunday morning. We were exhausted from the flights and eager for a good night's sleep and I was surprised at how difficult I found it to adjust.

When I came here last year, I was immediately home. I knew I'd found my place and that no matter what happened, there would be joy and provision, and Australia did not disappoint. I was sad to leave when my visa expired, and I was counting down the days to return.

But then I spent an overwhelmingly precious few months in Georgia and I realized that I have two places my heart calls home. One in the States, with my family and friends, and one here in Australia with the community I've been building over the past 12 months. And the home that transcends both of these is with Stephen, my person.

And so I thought it would be simple, coming back here. I knew we'd be tired and the next few months would be those of transition, but it seemed easy. Until the plane landed. I was struck by the reality that for the next little bit, even though this is undoubtedly where I want to be, things are unsettled.

It's hard to move to a different country. It's hard even when you have plans and preparations and people supporting you. It's hard for countless reasons, and it's hard to admit that it's hard.

And then you wake up to the news of Robin Williams' death and Mike Brown's death and updates on the crisis in Iraq and you start to feel really insignificant and selfish.

I believe it's just as important to admit our weaknesses as it is to rejoice in our successes. I believe in times of worldwide tragedy and confusion, it's important to remember that we all suffer and we all flourish, and even when my place of trial seems like a molehill in a world of mountains, it's still okay for me to feel its weight. I believe it's important to find the balance between being intentional in your own life and being aware of the lives outside of yours.

Today, it's winter where I am. I get to dress warmly, spend time with my almost in-laws, and cook dinner with my almost husband. Today, my life is dreamy even in its unexpectedness and today, I get to matter even when other things matter more.