Recently, my friend Erin Riley wrote an article for the Sydney Morning Herald about the prevalence of racism, sexism, and homophobia in AFL (that's Australian Football League, for my non-Aussie audience), and it kicked up a storm like you wouldn't believe. She's received death threats, been called names unfit to print, been told to kill herself, and dismissed as a typical, over-sensitive girl who should stay away from sports if those attitudes make her uncomfortable.
All of this makes me furious. Erin is a kind and well-educated woman, a fierce AFL supporter, and an intelligent writer. She wrote an article that was true to the core - athletics is one of the few places in Westernised culture, or any culture for that matter, where it's often deemed acceptable to act completely unacceptably.
I'm totally #teamErin.
So imagine my surprise when what I found most upsetting wasn't the ridiculous trolling of Erin's willingness to bring light to an undesirable and intolerable problem, but rather how people chose to support her.
"White men are human garbage and should be rounded up into camps."
"This is why men are pigs."
"F**k these knobs."
Here's where I see an even bigger problem arising. Supporting Erin in her fight for people to embrace good sportsmanship and basic human decency has turned into rallying against men altogether. And this attitude is just as unhealthy and unhelpful as an attitude that suggests being a sports fan means accepting vocal harassment and abuse.
Gender equality, and the overall progression of the human race can't stop at fighting for the voices of women to be heard. We need to include men as well. The mindset that because some men are ignorant (and some men are cruel and some men are bigots and some men will never change), all men must therefore be ignorant is dangerous, and the idea that men don't suffer from gender stereotypes is naive.
I say we fight for Erin, and for all the Erin Riley's of the world. We fight to end rape culture and slut shaming and wage gaps and the exploitation of women. But that fight doesn't have to be, and shouldn't be, against men - it has to be with men.
And while that fight may be against some men, it isn't against all men.
Dehumanisation, no matter what form it takes, isn't okay. I've seen my friend Erin take insult after insult with immense grace and respect, and in response, I've seen other people dehumanised on her behalf. If we really want to stand up for equal rights and gender equality (whether that's through sports journalism or anything else), we can't expect change to come by being exactly like everyone else.
We have to be different.
We have to be kind.
*italicised quotes are comments taken from Erin Riley's personal Facebook page. I am not acquainted with these commentors, nor did I ask them to comment on their remarks. They are simply supplementary to this blog post.
You go, girl! Sometimes I think (sadly) that people have always been nasty when they feel attacked, and the internet has just given them a chance to let it out without reprisal. Bloggers become like lightning rods. I think journalists are trained to accept this, and often even to encourage a bit of venom to get people talking. But for the rest of the world such venom is hard to get used to - and really should not be gotten used to. I am sorry Erin has had to undergo such trash. If she does come to understand the comments as the effects of various forms of PTS and the avalanche of stress that threatens to crush the good nature out of ,most people and learns to forgive, she will be a better person than I am... -- Dad
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