Macaroons and life lessons

Last night, we had a sleepover. In addition to my usual four kiddos, there were two other girls staying with us. There was lots of screaming and giggling and sliding across the kitchen floor in socks with music (American hits, I might add) playing just a bit too loudly. We made cookies with the little kids and after they had gone to bed, we sat down on the couch with our salted caramel macaroons and gummy bears and put on a chick flick.

About halfway through the movie, Georgia, one of the girls who lives just around the corner, turned to me and said, "You could be a model." My response? I'm not tall enough. Immediately, Hayley lit up, because at 13 she's already a few inches taller than I am and still growing. But this news had the opposite effect on Georgia, who is much shorter. The conversation that followed this exchange had a lot to do with the girls saying they all wanted to be models because they're beautiful and me encouraging them to strive for careers that don't place their identity on what they look like or wear or eat. It was as if no one had put into words for them the truth that who they are as girls, and someday women, has very little to do with their outward appearance.

It's hard, teaching girls that while it's okay to look nice, there is so much more to a self. Especially when the conversation is happening in the middle of a movie that translates a message almost completely the opposite. It got me thinking about the things that I've learned, even just this year. I was lucky enough to grow up being taught that my dreams should never be limited, largely because my mother is a woman who balances a successful marriage with a fiercely independent spirit. Life takes its toll, though, particularly on young girls throughout puberty and high school and the ups and downs of college. Then this morning, I asked a friend back in the States what he's doing nowadays, and he said that his life is pretty repetitive right now, not at all exciting like mine. That kind of threw me, because as a nanny, my life is pretty repetitive, too. It's just different than it was two weeks ago, and it's an adventure because I've decided it will be.

The grass isn't greener on the other side; it's greener where you water it.

So what's the connection? Girls think they have to hold the interest of men, of the world, of everything around them. But that's not our responsibility. I started this blog because I felt like my life was suddenly worthy of interest, but truthfully, it always has been. It always will be. Knowing that, knowing my life is and I am worthy of interest, is my responsibility. I'm not so far off from those four girls I talked to last night, realizing little by little that my worth as a woman is not tied up in how many people are interested in me, in how many people keep coming back for more. Just as it's not their job to be pretty. As Katie Makkai said in her slam poem Pretty, they will be pretty intelligent, pretty creative, pretty amazing. But they will never be merely pretty. And the same goes for me.

I don't know if this post makes much sense, but I know it's important to realize that what I want to accomplish this year, at least in part, is helping the children I invest in realize there is greater Truth than they know. We are chosen, we are loved, we matter. And I'm so grateful that the things they bring to my attention help me see what I want them to see.

Seriously, so so good.