25 things I know

Today, I turn 25, and in true twenty-something fashion, I thought I'd write a list of 25 things I've learned over the years. 25 things that have shaped me and made me. 25 things I know with great certainty. 25 things I think worth sharing.

1. Birthdays are important. Celebrate yourself, love your age, embrace the day.

2. Sometimes, the only thing that fixes a bad day is a nap and a second (or third, or fourth) coffee. Treat yourself.

3. Being introverted doesn't mean you're shy. Don't let other people put any label on you that you wouldn't put on yourself.

4. On that note, sometimes labels are bad. But sometimes they aren't. It's okay to push back from them, but it's also okay to accept them.

5. It's important to stand up for the equal rights and treatment of women, but that doesn't mean you have to be a woman CEO or that you have to agree with what every woman says. People who stand for the same causes are allowed to have differences.

6. Dessert is almost never a bad idea. You shouldn't feel guilty for indulging every now and then.

7. It's good to have at least one hobby that's just yours. Individuality is severely underrated, and it's good to have something that makes you you.

8. Not everyone is a gourmet chef, expert crafter, diligent calligrapher, or talented musician. It's okay to be average.

9. It's also okay to excel. But remember it doesn't make you worth more than other people.

10. Never underestimate the power of a true compliment.

11. Your existence is more important than you realise. Don't devalue your life.

12. Kids who were mean to you in school won't necessarily still be mean later in life. Give second chances.

13. Sometimes, we need to let go of people. The internet makes this really difficult, but you shouldn't have to feel guilty for needing to move on with your life.

14. Growing up is one of the greatest privileges you're given. Don't be sad when things aren't like they were in high school or university. This is a good thing.

15. Be strong in your convictions, even if other people don't understand why you are.

16. It's normal to have sad days. Sad days don't mean you're depressed or stupid or that there's anything wrong with you. It just means you're having a sad day.

17. Have at least three people in your circle that you'll let see you cry.

18. Don't skip breakfast.

19. Your spouse should be your best friend, but he or she shouldn't be your only friend.

20. Every so often, try something that you're certain you hate. Tastes change.

21. Pleasures shouldn't have to be guilty. You're allowed to like whatever the hell you like.

22. Compromise is necessary, and it doesn't make you a loser. Compromise means everyone wins.

23. The highlight reel is hardly ever accurate. Be wary of people who are incapable of vulnerability.

24. It's okay to disagree with what other people think. Often, it's an amazing gift, because it allows us to take in different perspectives and learn things we might otherwise have ignored.

25. Remember that you are loved, dearly and deeply and always.

What are some lessons you've learned over the years?

On celebrating myself

Today, I turn 24. It's an occasion about which I am wholeheartedly excited, one that I think deserves recognition. Maybe it's selfish and childish, but I'm a firm believer that birthdays are always cause for celebration, great and glorious, no matter the milestone.

Recently, a friend of mine turned 25, and I overheard her complaining about her age. I said she was lucky she was to be turning 25, to which she responded, You're right. I could be turning 30!

What?

I think birthdays are a source of unnecessary stress, particularly for women. We live in a culture that's obsessed with keeping us young, not only in our looks but in our hearts as well. But to be honest, I don't think there's anything wrong with growing up and getting old. To be honest, I think it's a privilege and an honor.

Being a kid was fun. Sometimes I miss being carefree. Sometimes the thought of adult life, of paying bills and loans and having a career are incredibly daunting and I want them to stop. But I wouldn't trade them in for anything, least of all adolescence. I like growing up. I like the added responsibilities and the new freedoms that come with them. I think that it's necessary for kids to enjoy their youth, to celebrate their childishness.

But I think it's good to grow up, too. It's good to become something more.

There are a lot of parents who wish their children had made the milestone I'm about to make. There are a lot of young people who know they likely won't ever turn 24, and they wish they could. 24 is young. Sure, it's the first year of my mid-twenties, but it is oh-so-young! I may sometimes find grey hairs (in my eyebrows, of all places) or notice that my face and body don't look quite like they did ten years ago, but I don't think for one second that I'm old yet. I'm nowhere near it.

And I seriously hope I get to be. Covered in wrinkles, grey from my roots to my tips, and fully old, I hope I get there. I hope by the time I do, old won't sound like an insult anymore. I hope the women around me won't be perpetually celebrating their 21st birthdays. I hope I will be happy and healthy and delighting in my old-ness.

So here's to 24. The celebrations have been good and the gifts have been nice, but even without either, I would be happy. My life has been an great adventure, especially recently, and I'm ready for whatever 24 will bring my way.